My wife sent me this post because we've been dealing with one of our four sons who cancelled us, especially me over 2 1/2 years ago. The issue I run into is asking myself WHY? He claims I'm an evil person and that I should seek help. My other three sons have never considered me "evil" and in need of help. He won't tell me WHY. That's my main issue. If I HAD done something that he just can't let go of, I'd at least know WHAT I did that made him so in need of revenge.
Yes, he knows that I don't approve or especially like his live in left wing whack job cougar sex doll that couldn't stand me and I'm pretty sure she is the push behind the whole situation. Gee, can you tell that she disgusts me? She wasn't happy with me not wearing a mask..."You're being selfish". I said, yes, I like to be able to breath. She wasn't happy I wouldn't take the jab...Sorry dear, I've done my homework and there is no way I will voluntarily EVER take a jab of garbage ingredients into my only dwelling place. If it kills me, I'm gone. So, most likely she is the one behind it, BUT what is it that she stirred up in him to never want to visit, go on long father and son road bike rides, go out to dinner, go target shooting and other things that we did quite frequently? It can't be because of lack of material gifts. Two cars, two road bikes and a few firearms for protection and practice. Unless he gets off his high horse, I guess I'm cancelled. He won't return calls, emails or respond to letters. I'm at a loss and yes, it hurts. A LOT. I'm convinced that since I've read that the jab has caused some major personality changes in some people noticed by those close to them, that my son may be suffering from one of the side effects that the "warp speed" CRAP caused. He doesn't have an idiot for a father. https://www.courageouslion.us/p/toxicology-vs-virology
Thank you for your candid article Robyn. I know a few women who's hearts are broken by being "canceled" and was just speaking today to a dear friend who finally divorced her porn addicted husband (who was my former pastor!!!) The adult children believed the lies and did not even consider her side of the story.. her youngest daughter is getting married next month and she is not invited to the bridal shower next week. I will not be attending either.
Thankfully they did finally talk together last night, and progress was made, but it's uncertain if she will be attending the wedding.
So sad and unnecessary. Carrying resentment and anger is toxic to everyone. Forgiveness brings peace.🙏
I'm one...I hold no anger, and am past the sorrow...instead I feel that a part of my life has been taken -- like a limb or an "unnecessary" organ (not that I believe those exist!) sacrificed but without a genuine cause or purpose. I simply miss being able to speak to my son and his wife. To have exchanges, even ones where we agree to disagree. To share what's going on in our (ever-changing) lives as we both get older and "things happen" -- to both of us. I don't expect or want to be at the center of any of my children's lives (ditto for my 4 grandchildren of my daughter's - 3 of whom I will meet for the first time while they visit our island in June). I was not a perfect parent (do those really exist?) -- but my other children, and I assume my absent one (just as has occurred with me) have grown, learned, experienced and frequently revisited gratefully humility and awe and an appreciation for the brevity and uncertainty of life on the planet (I'm a person of faith so my eternal destiny is settled -- whew!). I enjoy and appreciate the various perspectives and the stories from the "journeys" of others whom I encounter either occasionally or regularly - even those who hold to polar opposite views and beliefs or ? . And yes, I've thought about showing up at their door to make an emotional appeal, but why reinforce whatever ill will there remains? Why stir up a wound (at least on my side, & I sense there is one on the other) or further reinforce any perceived or actual incivilities that caused or grew into the chasm now present? I send birthday & anniversary cards (and at Thanksgiving a little card) with some $$ to let them know they're thought of fondly. But really, what purpose except a form of emotional and psychological amnesia [like a PTSD-less battle wound] has this produced? It seems to me that learning to find common ground and to stay within the established civil boundaries of relationship (however those are defined in each instance) is part of the great navigation we all undertake as the years pass us by and we find (thank God!) that we are all wonderfully different, and have something to contribute from our adventures in life. No I won't break into desirderada here, or quote from sacred texts we have dubbed "scripture" but I will offer this -- if the empty, hopeful place were to be suddenly filled with some form of opened communication - who among us would not veture the somewhat hazardous and risky business of attempting to make it work, assuming dignity and respect can be present on both sides? No matter what that (even possibly diminished form that is not our ideal) might end up looking and feeling like. Is it not like those times, when by text or phone, there were words exchanged, not always in celebration and congruence, but still the give-and-take of conversation in some form occurred -- wasn't it preferable to only silence and the memory of what once was? I pray for that - for that opportunity to materialize and for the water to flow freely between us once again and for the sometimes challenging discourse to occur and for their to be dialog and healing -- however long that process requires to transpire. Not just for myself - but for the other "canceleds" who are wondering what may become of that once vital bond that we once shared.
I never heard the name "canceled parents." I know many parents and grandparents that have experienced this or are currenlty going through this "canceled" situation. It is heartbreaking.
My wife sent me this post because we've been dealing with one of our four sons who cancelled us, especially me over 2 1/2 years ago. The issue I run into is asking myself WHY? He claims I'm an evil person and that I should seek help. My other three sons have never considered me "evil" and in need of help. He won't tell me WHY. That's my main issue. If I HAD done something that he just can't let go of, I'd at least know WHAT I did that made him so in need of revenge.
Yes, he knows that I don't approve or especially like his live in left wing whack job cougar sex doll that couldn't stand me and I'm pretty sure she is the push behind the whole situation. Gee, can you tell that she disgusts me? She wasn't happy with me not wearing a mask..."You're being selfish". I said, yes, I like to be able to breath. She wasn't happy I wouldn't take the jab...Sorry dear, I've done my homework and there is no way I will voluntarily EVER take a jab of garbage ingredients into my only dwelling place. If it kills me, I'm gone. So, most likely she is the one behind it, BUT what is it that she stirred up in him to never want to visit, go on long father and son road bike rides, go out to dinner, go target shooting and other things that we did quite frequently? It can't be because of lack of material gifts. Two cars, two road bikes and a few firearms for protection and practice. Unless he gets off his high horse, I guess I'm cancelled. He won't return calls, emails or respond to letters. I'm at a loss and yes, it hurts. A LOT. I'm convinced that since I've read that the jab has caused some major personality changes in some people noticed by those close to them, that my son may be suffering from one of the side effects that the "warp speed" CRAP caused. He doesn't have an idiot for a father. https://www.courageouslion.us/p/toxicology-vs-virology
Thank you for your candid article Robyn. I know a few women who's hearts are broken by being "canceled" and was just speaking today to a dear friend who finally divorced her porn addicted husband (who was my former pastor!!!) The adult children believed the lies and did not even consider her side of the story.. her youngest daughter is getting married next month and she is not invited to the bridal shower next week. I will not be attending either.
Thankfully they did finally talk together last night, and progress was made, but it's uncertain if she will be attending the wedding.
So sad and unnecessary. Carrying resentment and anger is toxic to everyone. Forgiveness brings peace.🙏
I'm one...I hold no anger, and am past the sorrow...instead I feel that a part of my life has been taken -- like a limb or an "unnecessary" organ (not that I believe those exist!) sacrificed but without a genuine cause or purpose. I simply miss being able to speak to my son and his wife. To have exchanges, even ones where we agree to disagree. To share what's going on in our (ever-changing) lives as we both get older and "things happen" -- to both of us. I don't expect or want to be at the center of any of my children's lives (ditto for my 4 grandchildren of my daughter's - 3 of whom I will meet for the first time while they visit our island in June). I was not a perfect parent (do those really exist?) -- but my other children, and I assume my absent one (just as has occurred with me) have grown, learned, experienced and frequently revisited gratefully humility and awe and an appreciation for the brevity and uncertainty of life on the planet (I'm a person of faith so my eternal destiny is settled -- whew!). I enjoy and appreciate the various perspectives and the stories from the "journeys" of others whom I encounter either occasionally or regularly - even those who hold to polar opposite views and beliefs or ? . And yes, I've thought about showing up at their door to make an emotional appeal, but why reinforce whatever ill will there remains? Why stir up a wound (at least on my side, & I sense there is one on the other) or further reinforce any perceived or actual incivilities that caused or grew into the chasm now present? I send birthday & anniversary cards (and at Thanksgiving a little card) with some $$ to let them know they're thought of fondly. But really, what purpose except a form of emotional and psychological amnesia [like a PTSD-less battle wound] has this produced? It seems to me that learning to find common ground and to stay within the established civil boundaries of relationship (however those are defined in each instance) is part of the great navigation we all undertake as the years pass us by and we find (thank God!) that we are all wonderfully different, and have something to contribute from our adventures in life. No I won't break into desirderada here, or quote from sacred texts we have dubbed "scripture" but I will offer this -- if the empty, hopeful place were to be suddenly filled with some form of opened communication - who among us would not veture the somewhat hazardous and risky business of attempting to make it work, assuming dignity and respect can be present on both sides? No matter what that (even possibly diminished form that is not our ideal) might end up looking and feeling like. Is it not like those times, when by text or phone, there were words exchanged, not always in celebration and congruence, but still the give-and-take of conversation in some form occurred -- wasn't it preferable to only silence and the memory of what once was? I pray for that - for that opportunity to materialize and for the water to flow freely between us once again and for the sometimes challenging discourse to occur and for their to be dialog and healing -- however long that process requires to transpire. Not just for myself - but for the other "canceleds" who are wondering what may become of that once vital bond that we once shared.
I never heard the name "canceled parents." I know many parents and grandparents that have experienced this or are currenlty going through this "canceled" situation. It is heartbreaking.
Very touching. Thanks for sharing your heart about this difficult experience.