My Dad: The Greatest Man I’ve Ever Known

Happy Father’s Day and Happy Birthday

My dad is the single most self-disciplined human being I have ever known, and an absolute hero. He turned 80 this month.

May I tell you the almost unbelievable highlights of his life?

He got up every day and ran 6 miles, did a paper route with my brothers, and drove TWO hours each way to his job at Andrews Air Force Base, later the Pentagon.

He went to boot camp and ate bugs he found under logs, when I was a baby. He went to War College. He flew B-52 bombers in Vietnam with three little children left at home, for years.

I have never heard him say a swear word. I have never heard him complain. About ANYTHING. Besides the current administration. But nothing about his own life.

But when he was 12, his mother killed herself. His dad drowned his sorrows with addictions and a bunch more wives, and my dad was on his own at age 16, when one of his stepmoms and her children were particularly dreadful.

He got an MBA when he had five small children. He wanted to be a dentist, but the military said they didn’t need dentists, and wouldn’t pay for it, but they did need pilots and navigators, so he went to Flight School.

1968, me on my parents’ lap

He rose to the rank of Lt Col and retired at 47, and worked elsewhere after that.

He started a business in his retirement that failed and lost a lot of his net worth, but carried on. He is frugal to a fault, and he can do anything he decides to do. His children think he is Superman.

He is the father of 8 children, and he sat down with each of us once a month, individually, to talk to us about our lives. And give us a few dollars of “allowance.”

I always knew my life and my happiness and success mattered to my dad, and I was always certain of his love for me--even if he wasn't around much as the sole provider for a family of 10.

I don't know why I'm nowhere near as amazing as he is, but every good thing I am, is in large part because of him.

My dad isn't on Facebook anymore, and is the full-time caretaker for my mom. Which he also never complains about; it’s a responsibility he takes seriously and that gives him life purpose.

I am making a documentary of his epic life, just for my family, and my son is interviewing him on Zoom. My dad is taking it very seriously, and has a whole list of stories he wants to cover.

I can't really talk or write about my dad without getting emotional. I actually cried all the way through writing this.

When I called him on Father’s Day, he mostly wanted to talk about things like how he used to drive a few miles to Mexico to fill up his motor scooter with gas for $0.25 a gallon. The price of things is my dad’s favorite topic. And he is extremely proud that all six of my brothers served 2-year missions for the LDS Church.

He is very authority-oriented and obedient to the teachings of the LDS (Mormon) church. Except, he refused the jabs.

It’s heroic that we were a one-earner family, given that he bought our house in Northern Virginia in the 80’s when the interest rate was 18%, taking well over half his income. Our clothes came mostly from garage sales, occasionally an outlet’s discount rack, and we grew a lot of our own food.

My mom was very serious and methodical about “garage sailing,” and she’d read the newspaper ads on Friday night, and mapped out a route of the next morning’s garage sales that looked like they had the best stuff–mostly antiques she could refinish, and clothes for us.

We were waiting out front, at 6 am, in front of the first house’s sale, on Saturday morning. I actually hated “garage sailing” but went during the summer, so I’d have “new clothes” before the school year. My mother would haggle over a $1 pair of jeans, to try to get it for $0.50.

It wasn’t easy to provide, and grow our own food, given that he was in the military and we moved a lot. All but one meal a week was entirely plant-based, and beans and oatmeal and fruits and veggies were our staples.

In the once-every-two-weeks “Commissary Run” (the military’s grocery store), she left with 3 carts full of food, and we packed the station wagon. If she bought something special, like nectarines, she chose them carefully and they were strictly rationed–10 nectarines for 10 people.

My dad carpooled to work, if his old used car didn’t work, he’d figure it out and fix it himself–and I don’t remember him buying anything nice for himself.

Though now he’s considering buying himself a knee replacement, after 65 years of jogging 6 miles a day. The only time I recall a medical emergency for my dad is when he got a hernia from doing so many sit ups, so regularly. He mocked “crunches” as being for “sissies,” so he did the whole sit up.

I can't wait to give the documentary of my dad’s life to my 7 amazing siblings, their equally amazing spouses, and their fantastic children, who are excited about it.

Because we have a HERO dad, and the imprint he made on all of those people is truly beyond my ability to express. Happy Birthday and Happy Father’s Day, Ret Lt Col Robert G. Openshaw, the greatest man I’ve ever known.

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