You may be aware that recently, a firestorm of controversy erupted and two generations collided, when I posted on Facebook about the epidemic of adult children canceling their parents. I wrote about how this new trend is encouraged by societal forces, and that the Millennial generation seems far more angry at their parents than previous generations.
It's interesting that you say the canceling of you as a parent was preceded by you letting him grow up and take financial responsibility for himself. The same happened to me. You bring up an excellent point that we are not required to make our children happy and that we need to let that go. I agree. I think by the same token, children need to stop holding their parents responsible for making them happy. When we don't, then we're canceled. Ironically, they both want to be free of us, yet chain themselves to us by making us responsible for their happiness. Good insight. I know you're writing these articles for me!
Just remembered what I told a young man a few years ago. As far as I'm concerned if you don't have family. You ain't got nobody. I'm not saying that casual friends and acquaintances can't be helpful, encouraging or beneficial at times. But those relationships are simply not on the same spiritual level as a good marriage and family relationships. Neither do I expect those relationships to be replacements for marriage and family.
Sorry for those who may dealing with estrangement from family members. I don't have kids or a husband. One thing I do know. It takes commitment, agape love, faithfulness, patience, unity and boatloads of time to have healthy and lasting relationships.. The same amount of energy and time will be necessary for those non-marital and non--family relationships to work out well and be long-lasting or life'-long. I don't believe in exalting these relationships over marriage and
family. But there have been times in my life where some friends have been as loving and supportive as family members. I've learned too in life that one party may not be as committed to the relationship as the other person may be. And in that case. The only things I know to do is to pray, hang around accepting crumbs and leftovers or to move on.
I've learned too that if a person doesn't want you in their life. There is nothing you can say or do that will change their minds. Rejection is one of the main motives for numerous murders I've heard about in recent years.
You may be right. I have often wondered if I would be so devastated by the lifestyle of my oldest son if I were exposed to it that it’s maybe “for the best” that I can be currently deeply clueless about most of his life.
Just like the psyche protects us from big trauma (dissociation etc), maybe God allows these painful rifts so that the person torn asunder from his family can do some important work on his own.
It's interesting that you say the canceling of you as a parent was preceded by you letting him grow up and take financial responsibility for himself. The same happened to me. You bring up an excellent point that we are not required to make our children happy and that we need to let that go. I agree. I think by the same token, children need to stop holding their parents responsible for making them happy. When we don't, then we're canceled. Ironically, they both want to be free of us, yet chain themselves to us by making us responsible for their happiness. Good insight. I know you're writing these articles for me!
Just remembered what I told a young man a few years ago. As far as I'm concerned if you don't have family. You ain't got nobody. I'm not saying that casual friends and acquaintances can't be helpful, encouraging or beneficial at times. But those relationships are simply not on the same spiritual level as a good marriage and family relationships. Neither do I expect those relationships to be replacements for marriage and family.
Sorry for those who may dealing with estrangement from family members. I don't have kids or a husband. One thing I do know. It takes commitment, agape love, faithfulness, patience, unity and boatloads of time to have healthy and lasting relationships.. The same amount of energy and time will be necessary for those non-marital and non--family relationships to work out well and be long-lasting or life'-long. I don't believe in exalting these relationships over marriage and
family. But there have been times in my life where some friends have been as loving and supportive as family members. I've learned too in life that one party may not be as committed to the relationship as the other person may be. And in that case. The only things I know to do is to pray, hang around accepting crumbs and leftovers or to move on.
I've learned too that if a person doesn't want you in their life. There is nothing you can say or do that will change their minds. Rejection is one of the main motives for numerous murders I've heard about in recent years.
I have learned that rejection can be God's protection
You may be right. I have often wondered if I would be so devastated by the lifestyle of my oldest son if I were exposed to it that it’s maybe “for the best” that I can be currently deeply clueless about most of his life.
Just like the psyche protects us from big trauma (dissociation etc), maybe God allows these painful rifts so that the person torn asunder from his family can do some important work on his own.
Amen PU! The way I see it. Nothing gained is nothing lost.