Dumb Things Your Doctor Told You

I posted this meme on my Facebook page and got over 800 responses. I share some of them with you here.

I’ve been told incredibly ill-educated things by MD’s, and while I’m not sharing them here, because there’s so much to share from what many of you said–

–I consider that a blessing. That is how I detached from the idea of MD’s as experts on MY health.

When I began to self-educate myself past the astonishingly stupid things MD’s told me, I was basically forced to take responsibility for my own health. Pushed out of that cozy nest of believing that someone else would solve my health problems.

It just doesn’t go too well when you try to delegate it to someone in a white coat you might spend 10 minutes with, once or twice a year. These are some of the responses the post got:

Ann S. B.

“You enjoy having fibromyalgia. It’s who you are.”

Jessica M.

“Diet won’t do anything for this disease.” (By one of the top rheumatologists in Los Angeles.)

Also: “I have never heard of a thing called probiotics.” (By a self-described “holistic leaning” pediatrician.

Also: I asked my son’s GI doctor about checking for parasites. He said, “Has he been to Africa?” 

Tammy T.

“Don't take your son to a chiropractor, the chiropractor will hurt your son.” (Side note from Tammy: He healed my son.)

Alexis G.

“Oh you have IBS? Just mix some Metamucil in with Gatorade.” (One of the top GI doctors in the country.)

Gina E.

My nurse practitioner was trying to convince me to get a mammogram. She said she got her first one at 40. The first one was clear and on the second time they “found something.” So she got a double mastectomy because of family history.

I’m thinking, “She didn’t have breast cancer until she started doing mammograms. My mom is 88, and I don’t think she has ever had a mammogram or colonoscopy.”

Marc W.

“Autism is caused by watching too much TV!”

Jean W.

"The tech for the Dexa scan messed up, or the Dexa machine must have been malfunctioning -- there's no way you improved your bone density that much without medication. You need to get a new Dexa scan to confirm the results." 

Deborah W. H.

"Wait, you do not take any prescription medications?? At 63? You do not take anything? Nothing OTC either?"

Angelena R.

“You’re too healthy. I don’t know what to do with you.”

Tammy W.

Asked me if I wanted a flu shot. I said no thanks. She proceeds to tell me all the reasons I need to get one. I still said no. She said, “I’m pretty good at convincing my patients to get one.” Still no!

Rona R.

“The ideas in the book you are showing me are dangerous.” (I was showing the internist a diagram of the Krebs Cycle.)

Lydia A.

A patient’s mom had throat or mouth cancer and wasn't eating much. Her doctor told her to go to Cold Stone Creamery and get the largest milkshake they had, every day, to get the calories in.

Barbara M.

“You need your pneumonia shot.” I said no thank you. “You should get your flu shot.” No thank you. “Well, give her an EKG,” she said to the assistant. I think she needed some code to bill to. EKG was fine.

Ronda Y.

Morbidly obese doctor tells me I was underweight, so go eat donuts & Snickers. I was a normal weight, BTW.

Richelle K.

“I will not prescribe you Armour thyroid, although it's your body, you want to take it, and it's a legitimate option that is natural.”

Deanna R. D.

You're a hypochondriac and need an antidepressant. (I really had hypothyroidism.)

Nancy F. T.

“It's normal for 2 yo boys not to talk. I'm sure there's nothing wrong with him.” His regression couldn't possibly have anything to do with that reaction he had to his 15 months shots. Nor his eczema or his chronic diarrhea, or the constant screaming, or the sudden refusal to eat anything but three foods.

Alesheia H.

“Diet has nothing to do with multiple sclerosis; changing your diet won't help anything.”

Dawn N.

Diagnosed with CFS decades ago: "You'll have it the rest of your life." Cried for a few days.

Started studying. (Before the Internet) Focused on my systemic candida. Cured that, and no more CFS.

Cathy E.

“You cannot pass gallstones, you have to have your gallbladder removed.” One month of preparation, and I passed the gallstones, five years ago.

Julie K. R.

I had an OBGYN tell me that getting pregnant would resolve a uterine fibroid. When I told her I wasn’t married, she told me to “go to a bar and find a guy to make it happen.”

Karen K. L.

I was having severe digestive issues, burning tongue and lips, roving pressure in my head, insomnia and anxiety. I am a fitness instructor and was eating better than most, and the doctor said:

“You’re the healthiest sick person I know. Maybe you should just eat a cheeseburger.”

Jessica J. G.

When my baby was 2 weeks old, I was told to give her water, instead of breast feeding. I’m so glad I didn’t listen to that advice! Always trust your instincts. My breastfed baby was healthy.

Jackie R.

“You don’t have parasites–that’s only a third-world problem we don’t have in the United States.”

Lori W.

“Your insurance only pays me to talk to you for so long, so I have to go.” –15 min. 

Candace A.

"Are his vaccinations up to date? He wouldn't have this ear infection if he was properly vaccinated."

Sharon W.

A pregnant doctor told my sister she got the Covid shot because she didn't want “womb Covid.” Forreal. Genuinely.

Lisa S.

Dentist: "What's your concern with amalgam fillings? The mercury? It's not like it's rolling around in your mouth."

Molly E.

“How do you know that those vaccines have those side effects–are you a biochemist?!” (Screamed this at me, in front of my four children.) My response: No, I read the insert.

Amy W. C.

“Eat an all-meat diet to reduce inflammation. Plants are poison!”

Lynee G. M.

After diagnosing me with Hashimotos, endocrinologist: “No big deal. All you do is take this Synthroid pill and everything will be fine.” Stupid, dangerous advice.

Linda M.

Asthma runs in our family, and I have it. But a doctor told me my son got asthma because I was an overprotective mother.

Jessica D. D.

Years ago when I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease....when I asked about diet/food...

“What you eat won't change anything.”'

Ann S. B.

“You enjoy having fibromyalgia. It’s who you are.”

Susan O. E.

Feed your 5-mo baby ice cream for calcium. Side note from Robyn: I was told the same thing by an MD, only it was Nestle Quik added to milk. 

Arturo K.

My mother had been seriously constipated for 6 months. I came to see her and do the cooking after surgery. Within two days of my feeding her, she was completely regular.

She was furious with her doctor and asked why after 2 days I solved her constipation, but after 6 months of taking his drugs and advice, she remained constipated.

His answer: “The stool softeners that I gave you 6 months ago are just now starting to kick in.” My mom actually believed him.

Hi R.

“There’s nothing you can do about Hashimotos, it will just get worse and worse until you’ll have to get your thyroid removed.” (endocrinologist)

Arturo K.

Mayo Clinic doctor when I was suffering from severe weight loss: “You should be eating all the pie, cake, ice cream and pudding that you can find”.

These are just a few from the Facebook post on both the Green Smoothie Girl page, and my personal page Robyn Openshaw. Disclaimer: an MD saved my life when I was 27, and nearly bled out before being diagnosed with a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. I’m grateful for all the GOOD doctors do, too!

Hope you had a good laugh, though, and remembered that the person with the best intuition about your health is YOU. “Trust the experts” sounded innocent enough, but after 2020, I get a little triggered.

Please feel free to share your “dumbest” in comments below!

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